Campus Connection

Valentine’s Day.

If you have a significant other, it is a holiday meant to remind of love, romance, and passion.

If you don’t, it is nothing more than a day to make you feel bad about not having someone to give you flowers and candy.

For this reason, it is also a day when many an article is published about how to land a boyfriend or girlfriend so that you won’t have to spend this time of year alone and depressed.

I will do nothing of this sort in my article.

In fact, I am actually going to tell you about something you should NOT do if you are on the market for sex, affection, or marriage.

Speed Dating.

Now the theory behind speed dating (just like the theory behind Communism) is quite practical and intriguing. An equal number of men and women gather together at some location with copious amount of alcohol. Each man and woman is paired up and given 5-8 minutes to get to know each other. Once time has elapsed, a bell is rung and one gender rotates while the other gender remains stationary. At this point, the new man-woman pair proceeds to meet and greet for another 5-8 minutes. And so on.

At the end of the event each person marks down all the people in whom he or she was interested and if there is mutual interest, both individuals receive each others’ contact information.

In principle this sounds pretty fantastic, especially for busy, young professionals who don’t have a lot of time or opportunity to pursue romantic endeavors. By going to a speed dating event, they are guaranteed to meet numerous singles and go on multiple “dates” over the course of no more than 2 hours.

It seems so brilliant that it is hard to fathom that one can come out of such an event without at least one prospect of a date, if not a relationship.   

Yet, when it comes down to it, speed dating just does not work. I learned that after spending one evening doing just that at the USGA version of the event.

And here’s why:

Speed dating creates an artificial environment. It’s always exciting to notice someone attractive across the aisle, bar, gym, or even class. And there is a certain adrenaline rush that comes with finding a way to get the attention of the objection of your affection. However, all that is taken away from you in a speed dating event. You basically find yourself in front of a conveyor belt of men or women and your goal is to choose among those that have been pre-selected for you. There is no spontaneity to the process and without the element of spontaneity the whole experience just doesn’t feel genuine.

5 minutes just isn’t enough time. Yes, you need to know what school I go to, what I do for fun, and where I’m from. But answers to those questions aren’t going to be enough to determine if there is any compatibility nor give you an opportunity to distinguish me from all the other people you meet. I suppose if you are one of those believers in love at first sight, there’s always the chance that you will encounter the woman or man of your dreams, you will gaze into each other’s eyes, and all questions will be answered. But for those who are not as romantic, going through the basic stats just isn’t going to do it. Unfortunately, however, that is all that you can accomplish in 5 minutes, and as a result it is almost impossible to determine whether or not there is potential for a connection.

Having said all this, I am by no means implying that I didn’t enjoy myself. If you are just looking for a good time (as I was) and not going into this as a way to meet a possible life partner, speed dating can be a lot of fun and extremely humorous. It is definitely something worth trying out at least once, as you are bound to come out with some great stories to tell your friends about the people you meet.

And here are mine:

The “in your personal space” guy. This guy did not have any concept of his own seat nor the table that was separating us. Instead, he found it appropriate to practically hurl himself into my lap for the 5 minutes we exchanged witty banter about our life experiences. On top of his blatant disregard for my bubble, he appeared to have fake hair.

The “super-duper excited” guy. If there was a transcript of our amazing, wonderful, fantastic verbal exchange, each of his sentences would be followed by at least three exclamation points. “You go to the School of Medicine!!!?? Oh wow, that is so cool!!! Baltimore is sooo great!!! This beer is delicious!!!! Look at how wonderful the quality of this plastic cup is!!! How amazing is the woodwork on this beautifully crafted picnic table???!!!!” You get the point.

The gullible guy. There were a few of them there and these were the most fun. Among the things I was able to pull with these naïve, young men, was convince them that I broke my hand interrupting a robbery and that I was actually a professor at the school. Of course I eventually revealed the truth to them, and it was quite heartbreaking to see the disappointment in their eyes. Unfortunately though, I didn’t have enough time to determine whether their disappointment stemmed from the fact that they fell for what I told them, or from the fact that I wasn’t the badass or cougar they thought I was.

The “I’m looking for a wife” guy. He actually wasn’t in my speed dating round, but he didn’t have to be. From the sideline, it was easy to tell that this guy meant business. From his age (which was closer to my father’s than my own) to his receding hairline to his shirt (which was neatly tucked into a tapered pair of jeans) it was clear that he was there for a bride.

The moral of the story: if you’re looking for an interesting way to spend an evening out, speed dating is the way to go. However, if you’re looking for someone to take home, you’re better off throwing on those beer goggles and heading to a bar.

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